


Birthday Candles

by Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)



Series: The Long Distance Problem [11]
Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Birthday, But whatever, Cheesy romance, Fluff, Happy Birthday JackSepticEye!, M/M, Nervous Felix, Slice of Life, but hey it works out in the end, disappointed Jack, friends are good distractions, i'm also cheesy as hell, just being cute, kinda paranoid Jack?, surprise birthday presents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/Pseudthisyafucks
Summary: It's Jack's birthday, and his shitty boyfriend isn't there when he wakes up. What could he be doing that's more important?





	Birthday Candles

**Author's Note:**

> (wrote this in an hour before work sorry for typos have a lovely day and happy birthday to the lovely sean mcloughlin who we are all infinitely grateful for)

When Jack woke up that morning, he woke up alone. 

It was honestly kind of awful. Jack didn’t like to think of himself as a guy that always needed attention and gratification, but he was never one to not enjoy it when he got it. He didn’t hate attention and he didn’t turn it down when he had it. Being appreciated and being given attention just kind of made him feel like he was wanted. Maybe waking up alone wasn’t the worst thing in reflection of this, but…

It was his birthday and Felix was supposed to be here. That was all that was really getting to him. He was supposed to be spending the day with his boyfriend and maybe spending the day in bed as well. Sure, he had things to do, people to see, maybe a party to attend because PJ was pushy like that, but he still had looked forward to spending it with Felix the most. This was the first time he’d get to spend his birthday with Felix in their home together. It felt special to him. Or at least, it was supposed to be. Except now Felix wasn’t here and the bed was cold. Maybe it wasn’t as special as he’d thought it would be.

He got up wit a heavy sigh that he refused to acknowledge to be tinged with sadness and went to get dressed, ignoring the incessant ping of his phone. He suddenly wasn’t excited about all of the birthday wishes he’d receive. None of them were from Felix, so—

Okay, no, that was fucking stupid. He couldn’t take out his disappointment on other people. Jack turned right back around from the closet and picked up his phone, responding to who he could. His brother, his parents, his friends, and then acquaintances. He’d put out a general message later in the day just to cover the brunt of all of his loving, adoring fans that he appreciated so fucking much. As Jack scrolled through his social media, he couldn’t help but smile despite the heavy feeling he’d had since waking up. He was so lucky to have the community he did. He would never take them for granted. Jack reblogged a huge flurry of art, liked a couple Tweets, then chatted with his brother a little. It was a nice distraction, and lasted an hour before he actually got ready for the day. 

Felix wasn’t in the house. Not the kitchen, the bathroom, even his recording room. Jack refused to let it bother him, even though logic told him at this point that he had a right to be upset. Had Felix just forgotten the day? Except Felix was never one to get up early, yet the house was untouched and the bed had been cold enough to suggest otherwise. Jack ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and a little hurt. Then he got a message from PJ, telling him to come outside. 

“Fine,” he sighed, doing as told. PJ was in his car, screaming about his birthday and singing along badly to Disney tunes. It was enough to pull a smile from Jack. “Have ye’ seen Felix?” he asked, because it just seemed important enough. PJ clammed up, then shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. 

“Haven’t heard a word from him.”

Jack sighed and climbed into the passenger seat. “What’re we doing?”

“We, my friend, are about to embark on a thrilling adventure into the vast wonders of consumerism and capitalism. We shall explore the far reaches of the mindless buyers and analyze what it really means to be human beyond money.”

Jack frowned. “The shopping center?”

“Yeah, the shopping center.” PJ kept singing the whole way, uncaring of the stares he got at the red lights. Jack ended up singing along with him, but his heart wasn’t into it. He kept checking his phone for a message from a certain fucking asshole Swede, but nothing came. “You okay?” PJ asked him as he parked. “You’re, like, not practicing what you preach, mister down-and-depressed. It’s your birthday. What happened to that PMA?”

“Felix was gone when I woke up,” Jack mumbled, still staring at the last message he’d received from Felix two days ago. 

_wait seán do you have undetected chlamydia because yt is telling me to date with durex_

“Think he forgot?” Jack asked.

PJ shrugged again. “Fuck if I know. Dude’s been super busy lately with a thing. Who knows what he’s thinking these days. Maybe he’s just all wrapped up with that Japan thing he’s doing. Why aren’t you going again?”

“Because I’m already preparing for tour,” Jack replied. “Losing two weeks of prep just ain’t happening.”

“Maybe he’s sad you said no,” PJ suggested. Jack’s face fell. “I mean, or maybe not,” PJ tried to reason. “He doesn’t hold grudges when it comes to work, you know that. He gets you take it all way more seriously than he does.”

“Only cause the fucker has stage fright,” Jack huffed. 

“It ain’t stage fright, it’s PTSD over botched handshakes.”

“Same thing.” Jack got out of the car, considerably less excited than he was before, which wasn’t saying much. If Felix was really being an ass and ignoring his birthday just because Jack had turned him down on a two-week vacation to Japan, then Jack was going to be pretty fucking pissed off. It wasn’t like they knew how many birthdays Jack had left. Each one should be appreciated. “Why’re we here again?”

“Because I’m making you pick out the gift I’m buying you,” PJ replied. His own phone went off. PJ looked down at it, read something with a frown that gradually turned into slow, mounting shock, before he tucked the phone away again with wide eyes. Jack raised a questioning brow at him. “It’s nothing,” PJ said, waving him off. 

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Pregnancy scare.”

Jack stared, then let out a hesitant bout of laughter. He couldn’t tell if PJ was lying or not. “Uh, okay. Sure.”

“You wouldn’t understand, Jack.”

“You’re right, Felix ain’t got a uterus.”

“And how lucky he is. He’d be horrified by the whole baby thing. Like an alien trying to climb out of his throat. Also the cravings.” Jack genuinely laughed at the ridiculous image of Felix with a pregnant belly, stuffing himself with pickles and peanut butter. PJ grinned. “Pretty sure there’s fanfiction of that,” he told Jack. 

“God, no,” Jack giggled. “Don’t do this to me. I’m supposed to be mad at him.”

PJ pulled him into the shopping center and they spent a good three hours there, mucking around and walking through shops. PJ tried to convince Jack to let him buy a glittering, pink tube top for him, saying it would be perfect for a video or maybe even just a private show. Then PJ dumbed it down to a jean skirt, insisting that Jack was going to have to choose between one of the two. Jack went with a happy medium and let PJ buy him a black, lacy throw over just to get him to shut up. He had every intention of throwing the damn thing away. 

“You’re just so hard to buy for!” PJ whined as they ate pretzels. “I could get you a book, but you’d never fucking read it. You just buy all the plush toys and figures you want. You like Korean shit, but I always feel weird buying you that cause, it’s like, will Felix kill me over bringing up your ex? Will you? Is this even the right K-pop? So then I get scared and go to the metal music shit, but there’s so much of it! And I can’t ask Felix for advice, because he’s fucking biased!”

“You’re putting way too much thought into this,” Jack told him with a roll of his eyes. He heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Brad walking towards them both with Emma. Jack immediately searched for a flash of white, but Felix wasn’t with them. He refused to let the disappointment show.

“What’re you guys doing here?” PJ asked, waving them over. 

“Gonna see a movie,” Brad said, watching Jack. “Happy birthday. Wanna come see that new Marvel thing? With the black dude and the pussy?”

“Black Panther,” Emma said with a roll of her eyes. “That was the most insensitive description I’ve ever heard.”

“Pussy means cat, Emma, get your head out of the gutter.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you!”

“I’d love t’ see it,” Jack said. The theater was close by. It was two hours after lunch, so Jack got himself a huge bowl of popcorn just to act as the meal he’d missed. While PJ and Emma went to grab seats, Jack looked to Brad and asked, as subtly as possible, “Felix okay?”

Brad fumbled with the drink in his hand, but remained otherwise unperturbed. “Haven’t heard from him.”

Now Jack was starting to get worried. “Did he say at all what he was planning to do today?” he pressed. “Maybe drive somewhere? Go see something?” The image of Felix’s car smashed up in a ditch somewhere became a sudden, horrifying possibility. What if Felix had gotten in trouble and no one noticed enough to look for him? What if he’d been hurt? Fuck, what if he was hiding away, suffering from some awful headspace of his own design? The movie seemed suddenly unappealing. “I’ve got to go home,” he told Brad. “Tell the others I’m sorry.” He pulled out his phone, ready to catch a cab, but Brad stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“He’s fine,” Brad said with far too much confidence to suggest that he actually did know where Felix was. “Please believe me, he is absolutely okay and not lying dead on the road or anything.” Trust Brad to know exactly what horrible thing Jack had been imagining. “Come watch the movie.”

“What’s he doing?” Jack pressed. “He wouldn’t miss my birthday.” Maybe he suddenly wasn’t all that important in comparison to whatever else Felix could be doing, but that didn’t make sense. Just yesterday Felix had had to pause for a good thirty seconds in the kitchen, just staring at Jack as he made something as mundane as eggs. When asked why he’d stood so still, Felix had just shook his head and said he couldn’t believe he’d ever gotten so lucky as to have Jack. People didn’t fall out of importance overnight. People didn’t fall out of love that quickly. 

“A-am I… Are we in trouble?” Jack asked Brad, keeping his voice low and steady. “Should I be worried about… what, what he wants?”

Brad blanched. “Fucking christ,” he said, running a hand over the back of his neck. “I knew this was a shitty idea.”

“What idea?”

Brad shook his head. “Dude, whatever you’re thinking is wrong, okay? Felix… Felix isn’t, like, cheating. He isn’t leaving you. He isn’t doing anything like that. Just, please believe me when I say that everything is okay and he’s safe. Come watch the movie. Okay?”

Jack was hardly mollified, but he nodded regardless. He went to watch the movie and barely paid any attention to the film, even at the most demanding of action sequences. He ran through all of his most recent memories of his time with Felix, searching for any signs that something could have gone wrong between them, mistakes he could have made. Jack wanted to believe it was all fine, but today was _his birthday._ Maybe Felix didn’t always believe is own birthday was important, but last year he’d made a huge deal of Jack’s. The change was just jarring. 

The movie ended quicker than he’d thought. It was growing dark, nearing dinner time. Jack sighed heavily, realizing the entire day had gone by without a word from Felix. The others noticed his despairing mood, but they didn’t do much about it except insist on driving Jack around town and taking him to the beach, saying that he needed to have more fun. They all watched him with worry, especially when Jack didn’t even play in the ocean for a second. He just sat on the ground and watched the darkening waves. Emma and PJ had a hushed, urgent conversation off to the side. Jack didn’t even care enough to try to eavesdrop, even when their eyes kept darting to him. 

“What a shitty birthday,” he said to himself. He knew he’d go home to an empty house. He’d probably get mail the next day, gifts from family and distant friends. He’d get more messages, more well-wishings. He’d probably stream tonight. He’d Skype with Robin later, take some sort of happiness in knowing that at least he had remembered. Then he’d go to bed and try to keep from crying, because the bed was cold and Felix was just gone. 

And when Felix showed up the next morning, Jack would probably kick him in the balls. 

PJ got a message. His face lit up, in both ways. “Let’s get you home, Jack!” he announced. Jack felt his heart sink. His mood was apparently so despondent that even his friends didn’t want to be around him. Jack should’ve made more of an effort. He got up and brushed off the seat of his trousers, following the others back to the car. PJ put an effort into the Disney singalong, even getting Brad and Emma to reluctantly join. Jack halfheartedly enjoyed it. Not only was Felix not here, but his friends were celebrating cutting him loose. What a shitty fucking birthday. 

“Go have fun!” PJ shouted to Jack after Jack had left the car and gone up his doorstep. Jack waved goodbye to them. PJ pulled away, leaving Jack in the cold dark. He stared at his key, then the door. The idea of going into this empty place weight heavily on his chest. He just hated knowing who should be in here and that he wasn’t. On his birthday, too, of all days. Jack sighed, shoulders slumped. The house would be dreary and the heat wouldn’t be on, along with all of the lights. He didn’t even want to make dinner, though he was somehow still hungry after all that popcorn. He had to stream. Talking with the community would help.

Jack put the key into the door and unlocked it, stepping into his home. He faltered, though, when he was met with the glow of candlelight and the warmth of life in the home. He looked down when something crunched under his feet— dried rose petals. Jack stepped back, almost worried about ruining what this setup was. But then he realized the petals left a trail into the house. 

Jack followed it, noticing all the candles that lit up the entire hall. They smelled faintly of vanilla and were a pleasant white, kept in delicate glass containers of varying design. He rounded the corner of the front entrance and saw the petals led into the dining area. The light of the candle reflected off the glass of the windows and the white of the home. The table had a candelabra sitting atop it, with a tablecloth and dinner settings in front of the two chairs at either side of the table. There was a bottle of white wine and Jack could suddenly smell the aroma of a hot meal over the vanilla. 

Then he saw Felix standing at the other side of the table, watching him almost nervously, holding a wrapped box in his hands. 

Jack took a long moment. “You fucking asshole.”

Felix’s expression immediately wilted, from tentatively hopeful to hurt. Jack felt guilty for doing that, especially as he took in more of the house. There were roses fucking everywhere, a bouquet on every single surface that could afford to hold a vase. Fairy lights were strung about, adding to the gentle glow of the candles. Gentle music came from the Jack’s vinyl player, a piano piece of Phillip Glass that Jack couldn’t name. Everything was like out of a picture in a book. It was so carefully and delicately pieced together that Jack almost thought Felix had hired someone else to set it all up for him, except he couldn’t have. Where else had Felix been all day?

“Did you do all this for me?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, still looking so crushed. “I, I… I mean, Brad told me you seemed sad, but I didn’t… I thought this would be worth it.” Felix grimaced and went to snuff out the nearest candle with his bare fingers. “I’ll just—”

“This is gorgeous, Felix,” Jack told him, his tone soft and reverent. Maybe Jack would’ve preferred to have Felix at his side all day, but the magnitude and the effort that went into this setup couldn’t be ignored. Jack sent Felix a gentle smile, finally crossing the room to be closer to him. He took Felix’s free hand in his and went up on his toes to kiss Felix almost shyly. “You did such an amazing job.”

Felix looked nervous all over again. “You’re not upset?”

“I mean, I may have almost had a panic attack thinking ye’d died in a ditch, but hey, this is way too fucking pretty to stay mad about.” He grinned and kissed Felix again. “Plus, I’m pretty so you sacrificed a huge amount of your masculine ego, considering how romantic this is.”

“You’re worth it,” Felix told him so automatically that it almost seemed thoughtless. Jack felt his heart squeeze tightly in his chest, then smiled shakily up at the other man. It hardly seemed fair, now, that he’d thought such harsh things about Felix when he’d obviously gone to great efforts to make this truly special. Felix didn’t do romance well, he’d always felt awkward about it, and he’d always seen true romance as something as simple as dedication. He’d always worried about coming off as too cheesy. Jack thought this was perfect, though. Uncharacteristic and loving enough to be a grander gesture than it would from most other people. 

“I love you,” Jack told him with a breathy sigh. “I really fucking do.”

Felix finally smiled back, then held the present between their chests. Jack raised a brow, until Felix prodded him to open it. He tore back the blue wrapper, wondering what the hell Felix could have gotten him that Jack hadn’t already bought for him. Jack’s eyes went wide when he pulled out a hand-stitched Trico plush from the box, obviously well and carefully made. It had to have been a commission. “Fucking hell, Felix,” Jack said, because how the fuck did Felix keep one-upping him when it came to gifts? First the Christmas dolls, then this? All Jack and given Felix for his birthday was sex. “Okay, now I really fucking love you,” he said. “I’m gonna blow you for this.”

Felix made a sound that was like he’d choked on his own tongue. “No, no, no,” Felix said, waving his hands, blushing lovely in the candlelight. “Uh, dinner? Dinner. You’re not blowing anyone on your own birthday, jesus. Dinner.”

Jack grinned wider and then made a show of slipping down to his knees. Felix immediately grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back up. “Jack, come on,” he beseeched, looking nervous _again._ Jack frowned, though, when he realized there was a new layer to it. “I just want…”

Felix bit his lip, looking away. “All of our friends think we’re all about sex, you know?” he said. “And I’m not against it, hell no, but… The reason why I wasn’t there this morning was cause I can barely resist you when you first wake up. And the reason why I had you away all day was to set this up and then… I, I know you love me. And I know you know I love you. And we have a ton of sex. A lot of it. So I just… wanted…”

He trailed off, obviously frustrated. “I want this day to be about you,” Felix continued. “This night, really. I want it about you and not what you can do for me or what our bodies can do or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with sex and being, like, a sexual couple or whatever, there is nothing wrong with wanting that. And I mean, if you really want to get off, I’ll blow you or whatever, but I just feel like… I, I want to take care of this more than anything.” Felix placed a hand over Jack’s heart and Jack felt his knees go weak at the magnitude of what Felix was saying. “You’re more to me than a way to get off,” Felix told him. “And I want to spend tonight proving that to you.”

Jack’s jaw was hanging open. He had to look very stupid. “That has to be the cheesiest thing ye’ve ever said.”

Felix’s expression shuttered closed, then filled with embarrassment. He pulled away, probably meaning to hide in the kitchen to cover up whatever Jack had done to him, but Jack grabbed him by the hip and stopped him before he could flee. “And I loved every word of it,” Jack told him in a whisper. He put a hand around Felix’s neck to bring him down. Their lips brushed, but Jack didn’t seal their mouths together. He breathed Felix in, telling himself that he had been stupid to think this man could’ve been considering ending this earth-shattering, beautiful thing between them. Felix’s eyes fluttered closed, his body reacting instinctively to Jack’s closeness, knowing it was safe and that Jack could be trusted. The magnitude of the loyalty and faith Felix gave him every day astounded Jack, and he knew Felix felt the same. They were truly perfect together.

Jack finally tilted his head up to kiss Felix with aching carefulness. “Nothing like that tonight,” he promised. “Just you and me, yeah? Existing. Loving. Being cheesy motherfuckers and knowing no one else can ever have what we have.” Jack let out a shuddered breath. His voice was tight with emotion. “I love you so much, Felix, and I will never, ever take advantage of how much I know you love me.” Felix nodded his agreement, eyes still closed. Jack let him linger for a moment longer before pulling away. He didn’t want to start crying from the overflow. 

“Now feed me, ye’ lovely bastard,” Jack said with a grin, pushing lightly at Felix’s chest. “And blow me tomorrow.”

Felix choked on his tongue again, but he was smiling. “Happy birthday, Seán,” he said. Something slotted back into place in Jack’s heart. Hearing that from the only person that could matter was all Jack had needed. As Felix went to the kitchen to get their dinner, Jack hugged little Trico to his chest and grinned so wide that it hurt his face.


End file.
